IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crimes #prisoners #prison #sentences #alternative
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There is no
gain saying
take exception to
gainsaying
 that
nowdays
the period of time that is happening now; any continuous stretch of time including the moment of speech
nowadays
crime
increse
become bigger or greater in amount
increase
increases
increased
 in
many countries because in
Suggestion
many countries because
 some countries no rule and regulations which the bad effect on our society.
however
Suggestion
However
,
Accept space
,
decrese
decrease in size, extent, or range
decrease
decreased
decreases
crime
,
Accept space
,
prisoners should
given
Suggestion
give
 longer
prisonand
Suggestion
prison and
othrr
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
others
 say we can reduce with other ideas.
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 would discuss about my
viwes
a way of regarding situations or topics etc.
views
 and
opnions
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinions
.
firstly
Suggestion
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
it is
notice
Suggestion
noticeable
 to be that
,
Accept space
,
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 important role in every country which they
have reduce
Suggestion
have reduced
 the
crime
 with own choice.
beside
Suggestion
Besides
Beside
, they take provide laws and rules in our country and
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 should be banned some television programmes who show the
unsensor
not subject to censorship
uncensored
 videos as well as advertisements.
moreover
in addition
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
it can
increse
become bigger or greater in amount
increase
 the public security in specially hotels
,
Accept space
,
 schools
,
Accept space
,
collegesetc
.
Thus
,
Accept space
,
 the one reason they banned the vulgarity websites on internet.
for
Suggestion
For
 example
,
Accept space
,
 in many
countries people
Accept comma addition
countries, people
 using nude
videos websites
Accept comma addition
videos, websites
 and posted on social media which bad effect in society.
furthermore
in addition
Furthermore
, there are more reasons for
reduces
Suggestion
reducing
reduced
crime
 who people have long time in prison
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 should provide jobs in
jail which
Accept comma addition
jail, which
 they criminal improve life and
earn money send
Suggestion
earn money to send
 to family.
what
Suggestion
What
 a more
,
Accept space
,
in school and collages give moral lessons to
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 and young
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
 the more
postive
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positive
 effect on their mind and motivation skills.
Similarly
,
goverment
Suggestion
the government
government
 should open public parks and gyms which youngsters can improve health and more aware for drugs
to
Suggestion
To
 sum up, it is clearly that
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 should provide jobs and education in
jail which
Accept comma addition
jail, which
 the good for prisoners and they improve our life other big
benfit
financial assistance in time of need
benefit
benefits
for
Suggestion
of
 our society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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