Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #think #activities #child’s #health

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Nowadays, the young generations spend lots of their time playing video

games

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and watching TV. Some individuals believe that

this

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trend will have a negative impact on

children

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’s mental

health

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. I agree with

this

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statement to some extent, in my point of view spending time in front of the screen has some drawbacks on

children

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’s mental

health

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and their physical

health

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as well. The harmful mental effects of watching TV and playing video

games

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cannot be underestimated.

Firstly

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children

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experience immense stress and tension

due to

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violent scenes in the movies. They have to deal with great anxiety when they watch killings or assaults on television. These kinds of stress would decrease their IQ and might reduce their efficiency in their study.

Secondly

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, the films and

games

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convey a fake image of life to the

children

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. They are not able to distinguish between reality and virtuality and these senses lead them to isolation and depression.

As a result

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, they refuse to make friends and communicate with other people, and they just prefer to be alone. The majority of youngsters suffer from several physical problems

such

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as obesity and spin disorder.

To begin

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with,

children

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who spend hours without burning any calories become overweight. Eating great amounts of unhealthy snacks, high in saturated fat and sugar,

while

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watching an animation leads them to gain weight.

As a result

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, the

children

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will become obese and will face plenty of severe

health

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conditions

such

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as heart disease and cholesterol.

Moreover

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, ‘’sitting disease’’ caused by long hours of sitting in terrible positions on the couch or chairs playing

games

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leads to severe spin disorders.

Children

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experience backache and neckache before becoming teenagers because of their sedentary lifestyle. A recent study found that the number of

children

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under 10 who visit orthopaedic doctors is increasing significantly. In conclusion, in my opinion, the excessive time that

children

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spend on electronic devices

such

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as television and PS5 has

destructive

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a destructive

the destructive

show examples

effect not only on their mental

health

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Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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on their physical

health

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Submitted by Negar_seddigh on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all points made are fully supported with specific examples or evidence to increase clarity and conviction.

coherence cohesion

Enhance your logical structure by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more cohesive devices and connectives.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear stance on the topic, which is crucial for scoring well in Task Achievement.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes positively to Coherence and Cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
exposure to violence
addiction
reduced physical activity
hand-eye coordination
strategic thinking
multitasking skills
moderation
parental guidance
balanced approach
screen time
social interaction
sense of community
social skills
social isolation
alternative activities
outdoor activities
family interaction
mental health issues
educational programs
problem-solving games

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many scientists are concerned about global warming. Research shows that the worldwide increase in temperature is getting worse. Furthermore, global warming seems to be related to levels of pollution in the atmosphere. Discuss the causes of global warming and possible solutions to the problem.

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of thi development?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered area of the world should be opened up to access more resourced. To what extent do you agree?

Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?what changes you like to see in this century?