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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, parents are choosing to teach their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school
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The concept of homeschooling is surely popular in many countries and parents have more chances to choose the most suitable education system for their kids.
However
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,
this
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 trend, despite its advantages, can lead to numerous problems The fact that adults who educate their children at home can save a significant amount of money by avoiding expensive tuition fees for every school year, so they can use
this
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 money to invest in developing children’s talent.
However
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, it’s important to note that older people have to buy teaching resources and materials like equipment for subjects
such
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 as chemistry, physics, etc.
Moreover
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, the structure of traditional schools is evaluated and improved regularly, so it ensures that offspring have a conducive environment to develop themselves.
On the other hand
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, homeschooling can protect offspring from school violence, because they spend most of their time with their parents, reducing their exposure to
such
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 risks.
However
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, homeschooling is likely to limit their social interactions, so it contributes to a need for problem-solving skills.
For example
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, children who study at home from a young age may not develop problem-solving skills as efficiently as those who attend traditional school. The benefits of homeschooling probably ensure the improvement of family relationships and the protection of children, but would undoubtedly be outweighed by its drawbacks.
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task achievement
Expand on the arguments and provide more specific examples to support the points. For example, when discussing how homeschooling can protect children from school violence, you could provide a specific example or statistic to make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. This will help improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay. Consider using more linking words and phrases to achieve this.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity and precision of your statements. For example, instead of saying 'On the other hand, homeschooling can protect offspring from school violence,' you might say 'Additionally, homeschooling can shield children from school violence.'
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the ideas in a logical manner.
task achievement
The arguments presented are relevant to the topic and provide a balanced view by considering both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.
task achievement
Some points are well-developed and provide insight into the various aspects of homeschooling, such as financial considerations and social interactions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeschooling
  • Tailored educational approaches
  • One-on-One Attention
  • Safe Learning Environment
  • Cost-Effective
  • Family Bonding
  • Limited Socialization
  • Potential Knowledge Gaps
  • Regulatory Challenges
  • Dependence on Parental Commitment
  • Limited Extracurricular Opportunities
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