IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, young people do not take care of their elderly relatives, instead, they appoint trained professionals who take care of the elderly. Is it a positive or negative trend according to you?

#countries #people #care #relatives #professionals #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modern world, owing to rapid changes in lifestyles, work-patterns and social setups, young family members do not pay attention to older members of their family. They hire competent professionals for
this
Linking Words
 purpose;
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 development is not very positive and creates social and cultural complications as discussed
further
Linking Words
. To commence with, there are myriad reasons that youngsters must take care of their elderly members of the family.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is the moral responsibility of children to take care of their older
generation
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, giving a blind eye to old persons channels coming
generation
Use synonyms
 to grow up with some understanding,
consequently
Linking Words
 it gives birth to isolation in society which has dire effects on social structure.
Secondly
Linking Words
, older
generation
Use synonyms
 worked hard to raise and nurture the present
generation
Use synonyms
 is now it is turn of young
generation
Use synonyms
 to pay back.
This
Linking Words
 families break-down as its negligence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, no doubt hiring qualified professionals
Linking Words
also have
Suggestion
also has
 some benefits despite of the drawbacks.
First
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 people have sufficient knowledge to tackle dangerous situations of elderly people and they can move quickly and give appropriate treatment to them.
Linking Words
Second approach
Suggestion
The second approach
 is that by their significant qualifications and expertise they can develop confidence in old people and give them a sense of surety that they are in good hands. To
reccipitulate
Suggestion
,
Although
Linking Words
 many professionals care-givers are good and can provide many benefits, but children can do better and provide much better help to their parents because other feel warmth with their love one's.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: