IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#television #free-time #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A plenty of people spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 in watching
TV
Use synonyms
. It can result making them lazy and
also
Linking Words
 stop them from interacting with the other members of the society. In my opinion, the statement is justified and people need to balance their life. Today, the inflation rate has gone high and it's
being
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
been
 hard for the middle class families to afford their basic needs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some of the people have increased the level of their convenience in
such
Linking Words
 a way that they have become helpless and are unable to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their needs by working regular hours, in order to earn extra money they either need to work two different professions in a same day or need to work overtime to meet their financial goals.
Therefore
Linking Words
, due to lack of
time
Use synonyms
 the individuals are unable to socialize themselves and are spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their families in watching
TV
Use synonyms
 programs together.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they partially cut off themselves from the outer community and cannot figure out how to socialize
;
Accept space
;
eventually become reluctant to meet people and turn out lazy to even exercise.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people say that watching
TV
Use synonyms
 in spare
time
Use synonyms
 does not stop anybody from socializing and do not make people lazy. They say that people socialize themselves enough at work and after coming home, it is necessary to watch
TV
Use synonyms
 and gain some information about the ongoing issues around the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the working people are not lazy and watching
TV
Use synonyms
 doesn't prevent meeting others. In conclusion, I firmly believe that devoting the whole spare
time
Use synonyms
 to watching
TV
Use synonyms
 can be harmful and may result in obesity.
However
Linking Words
, people should divide their spare
time
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 manner
,
Accept space
,
so they can meet people and watch
TV
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: