IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railway rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#governments #money #railway #roads
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Generally, governm
ent has be
Suggestion
the government
en focusing on some aspect in improving the quality of life
su
Linking Words
ch as com
Accept comma addition
life, such
munication, health care and education. There is a need to look into the transportation system
especially railwa
Accept comma addition
system, especially
y rather than roads. In my opinion, more rail station should be built.There are some reasons I suggest
this
Linking Words
 should be implemented.
Firstly
Linking Words
, its will reduced the rate of pollution, it's has been noticed that majorit
y of peo
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
ple
both middle
Accept comma addition
people, both
 and upper class own a car and
also
Linking Words
 private organization uses vehicle
for co
Suggestion
the vehicle
a vehicle
mmercial purposes. Many of these mobile transport are not well maintained
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 poor maintenance it results in fume emitton
which
any strong feeling
emotion
emitting
causes air pollution within the society.
Also
Linking Words
, congestion due to more road transport stopping on highway
leads to tra
Suggestion
the highway leads
ffic delay. If trains are introduced, it will reduce the congestion and pollution rate.
Secondly
Linking Words
, rail transportation is more convenient and cheaper to access as compared to road.
For instance
Linking Words
, due to the inflation in the cost of petroleum, many bus drivers has to
inc
Suggestion
have
rease the price of transpo
rtation
Accept comma addition
transportation, hence
hence
Linking Words
 affecting the daily activities of some lower class people.
However
Linking Words
, if trains
station are co
Suggestion
the trains station
n
structed it wil
Suggestion
is constructed
l make the movement of less privileged individuals more accessible and improve the quality of life.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there is security of lifes a
nd pr
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
life
operty from men of the underground world. Since, trains can't be stopped while moving, it will reduce the rate of kidnapping and stealing. To illustrate, some pastors were kidnapped on their way to a minister's confere
nce but with t
Accept comma addition
conference, but
he advent of rail travels,these
p
Accept space
,
roblem
could
Suggestion
problems
be forgotten. To conclude, focusing on Railway Station as more benefits and will improve the quality of life.
Submitted by victoriatolulopeige on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: