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Band 3

Some people say that international sporting events contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #events #peace #stability #world
Nowadays, war
among
Suggestion
between
 the countries is the major problem that
need
Suggestion
needs
 to rectify utmost priority to restrict
further destruction
Suggestion
the further destruction
 of life and properties of the common people. There are
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of events are organized to tackle
such
 issues,
However
, many people believe that the match played between the nation have
major impact
Suggestion
a major impact
 on neutralizing tensions and improve relationships. I agree with the view point and my position is outlined in
this
 essay. Primarily, sports
had became
Suggestion
have become
became
 the most prosperous
businnes
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
businesses
basins
 in the world,
moreover
, the international match which
are
Suggestion
is
 in huge demand will generate
massive amount
Suggestion
massive amounts
a massive amount
 of money for the playing nations where people love to watch their county man to play against the other national team.
Such
 economic benefits force the political leaders to
fogot
dismiss from the mind; stop remembering
forget
 the differences and concentrate on
further
 growth.
For example
, the countries like India and Pakistan are fighting with each other
since
Suggestion
for
ages but
Accept comma addition
ages, but
 the cricket
series which
Accept comma addition
series, which
 was played between them
recently had created
Suggestion
had recently created
huge income
Suggestion
a huge income
huge incomes
 which
realise
Suggestion
realises
 both the nation about the advantages of peace which later made them to sign
peace treaty
Suggestion
a peace treaty
peace treaties
 and
also
 agreed on various other business mostly on import and export of goods
In addition
, if the sports match played in different countries, the people get the opportunity to travel to
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 nation where they can inter-exchange the culture and tradition.
Such
 cultural exchange will help them to understand each other and create respect among
them which
Accept comma addition
them, which
 eventually the main
reasone
a rational motive for a belief or action
reason
reasons
 for developing peace with other countries.
Submitted by abdulnayeem0854 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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