IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.
#diagrams #show #site #school #plan #changes
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People
Use synonyms
 have to make a lot of choices, even for very simple
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, you are hungry, and you want to have some snacks. You enter
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a supermarket, and you have too many options to eat. You have to pick one.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, you can gain weight, or maybe you cannot afford all snacks you want to have. I think it is less stressful and less time-consuming
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 you have to think about your choice, you have to think what
this
Linking Words
 will bring to you, what
this
Linking Words
 will
takes
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if you choose to do the same things every day to avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
breaking the routine, it can be boring after a
while
Linking Words
, and it is
also
Linking Words
 not good for our brain health. Yes,
people
Use synonyms
 have more choices nowadays.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past, to entertain yourself, you had a limited number of choices,
such
Linking Words
 as reading a book or
listening
Add the preposition
tolistening
show examples
 a radio station.
However
Linking Words
, now you have an internet connection, computer, television, tablet and so on. So, sometimes it is even hard to decide on what to do in
spare
Correct pronoun usage
my spare
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 because of the number of alternatives. I usually prefer phone applications to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my friends,
such
Linking Words
 as dm on
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
show examples
 and
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
. Yes, I prefer different
communication
Use synonyms
 ways to get in contact with different
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if I need to communicate with my professor, I should be more formal, so I cannot send an sms to
this
Linking Words
 person. I find
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
 to keep in contact with my family members and friends, because nowadays we have more options for
communication
Use synonyms
 than we would ask
, and
Change preposition
for, and
show examples
 some of them are even free. No, in the past
people
Use synonyms
 used to use different ways of
communication
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
,
fax
Correct word choice
and fax
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. Nowadays, it is hard to find a person who sends a letter for
communication
Use synonyms
 but for only special reasons, or
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 need a fax machine to communicate with others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because nowadays we have more technological options. I want to talk about the Halloween
party
Use synonyms
 that I attended. Actually, I don't like to celebrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Halloween, because it sounds childish to me, but my friend insisted on me
to attend
Change the verb form
attending
show examples
 the
party
Use synonyms
. At first, I was reluctant to attend it, but later I thought it would be an opportunity to spend some time with
people
Use synonyms
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 I haven't seen for a
while
Linking Words
. It was fun. We had some drinks and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chitchat. We even played a board game, and during the
game
Add a comma
,game
show examples
 a lot of jokes were made by all,
we
Correct word choice
and we
show examples
 laughed much. It was
like
Correct quantifier usage
more like
show examples
 a regular
party
Use synonyms
 than a Halloween
party
Use synonyms
. It was organised by my friend who invited me
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 her home.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example, otherwise, such, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, communication, party with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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