Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Obesity is a horrendous disease that has plagued civilisation and has been alarmingly increasing in
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent decades. The major prominent causes of
this
are a sedentary lifestyle and unhygienic
food
Habits. In my opinion, the foremost causes of obesity are inactive lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits. Nowadays, more and more
people
rely on travelling in cars
instead
of walking, have
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
physical Activities at work and after having a hectic day,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
white-collar workers prefer to relax and surf Social media
instead
of going to the gym.
Thus
, burning
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
show examples
calories and gaining weight.
Moreover
, With the proliferation of globalisation, the staggering amount of
food
-chain outlets selling
process
Replace the word
processed
show examples
food
items have superseded healthier home-cooked
food
.
Hence
, the problem is accentuated by The growing number of
people
, who eat irregularly and consume large portions of high-calorie
food
. The adverse effects of
this
problem include physical health problems and loss of productivity. First off
All
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, overweight
people
may have malfunctioned
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
which contributes to the risk of developing Myriad chronic, respiratory and cardiovascular diseases.
For example
, as body fat percentage Increases, the person’s metabolism worsens, which in turn may result in diabetes or heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
.
Secondly
, obese
people
are often unhealthy and tend to suffer from stress and tiredness.
This
Lessens
Fix capitalization
lessens
show examples
their productivity and impacts their work.
For example
, it has been proven that
an
Change the article
a
show examples
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overweight person needs to put more effort
to complete
Change preposition
into completing
show examples
some
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
than a person with
normal
Correct article usage
a normal
show examples
Weight.
To conclude
, obesity is a stigma that stymies the social well-being of an individual. It’s mainly caused by inactive
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
and eating disorders and results in severe health problems and loss of productivity.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: