Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology

In the modern era, technological advancement has reached new heights. Some commentators are of the opinion that with the

help of

Suggestion

help of technology, it

technology

it is now easier to connect with people around the

world

whereas others believe it makes us less sociable. In my opinion, if

such

technology

is used in moderation, it would have more advantages than disadvantages. There are numerous advantages that

technology

offers us, but the benefits that top the list are, easy

connectivity

Suggestion

connect

connecting

connection

with people around the

world even

Accept comma addition

world, even

in remote places and an abundance of knowledge about various cultures and languages. It is now very convenient to talk or chat with people in countries thousands of kilometres away while still at your home.

For instance

, students

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

abroad for their studies contact their parents and friends in their native country at any hour without any restriction with the help of

technology

Moreover

such

students can learn about the country's culture and linguistics used among the population and recent trends followed there, which would help them be more sociable and make new friends. Despite the advantages, some people believe that there are disadvantages as well. People are using

technology

to interact with others around the

world

over computers and mobile phones. Due to

this

, physical interaction has lost its importance. There are no longer any social gatherings or functions that interest

such

people. They are becoming sedentary and unfit at the same

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

attracts lifestyle disorders and anxiety issues when physical interaction takes place. To conclude,

technology

helps reduce the distance between loved ones and

also

updates about what’s happening around the

world

However

, physical interaction and staying should

also

be a priority and should be forgotten. Personally, I believe

technology

should be used moderately and not excessively.

Wed Mar 18 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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