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Band 4.5

Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones is disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technologies #phones #interaction
Technology has taken over by leaps and bounds. Cellular devices
has certainly brought
Suggestion
have certainly brought
 ease to man’s life.
However
, certain people believe that smartphones has caused a negative impact on
face to
Suggestion
the face to face interaction
face
 interaction.
Moreover
, I completely agree with it and in
this
 essay, we shall discuss about
this
 topic
further
. In the modern world, technology lures people’s attention tremendously. The myriad amount of functions and feature available on a cellular
devices
Suggestion
device
 makes it difficult for one to get their mind away from it.
Additionally
, social media has provided a
plaform
a raised horizontal surface
platform
 to share and search individual
countlessly
.
For instance
, millions of people on social networking sites like
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
 and
instagram
 uses these applications to stream or initiate a
convesation
the use of speech for informal exchange of views or ideas or information etc.
conversation
 with different individual and
beacsue
for the reason that; on account of
because
 of
this
 opportunity most of them prefer to have an online conversation rather than in person.
Moreover
, online games on phones have made it even more difficult.
For instance
,
Player’s underground battle game
Suggestion
the Player’s underground battle game
also
 known as PUBG, even though it is extremely popular among
millenials
Suggestion
millennials
, it has drawn them away from each other and made them more secluded.
On the contrary
, certain measures can be taken to mitigate the problem.
Firstly
, organizing events and encouraging people to have a social gathering.
Educationg
Suggestion
Educating
 people on how to balance
situation
Suggestion
the situation
 and how to include people and have a
face
 to
face
 interactions. Exercises
such
 as jogging, workout or yoga is
great way
Suggestion
a great way
 to have a
conversations
Suggestion
conversation
. To reiterate, I completely agree that cellular devices has caused a disruption on social
interaction but
Accept comma addition
interaction, but
 the problem can be resolved through the above given measures.
Submitted by tasbeauty.nature on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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