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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects, in addition to their main subjects. All this believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these wheels and give your own opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #believe #time #attention #qualification #wheels
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Students
 nowadays have many options at university; they can choose to study a minor
subject
 alongside their main
subject
. Some believe that it is beneficial for
students
 to gain additional knowledge,
while
 others argue that it is more important to focus entirely on their main
subject
 to obtain a qualification. On the one hand, studying a minor
subject
 can provide more
job
 opportunities. In today's rapidly developing society, competition is intense, and the
job
 market demands versatile employees.
For example
, some financial companies in China require their employees to understand finances and possess basic computer skills,
such
 as Python or C++.
Therefore
,
students
 who major in finance and minor in computer science may have an advantage over other applicants.
Additionally
,
students
 majoring solely in liberal arts may find it difficult to secure a
job
 after graduation.
Consequently
, some choose to minor in business or science subjects, which can facilitate their entry into graduate school or directly into the
job
 market.
Furthermore
,
students
 attend universities with a sense of curiosity and a desire to learn new things. If they only focus on their main
subject
, their knowledge remains limited.
In contrast
, choosing to minor in a different
subject
 can broaden their horizons, expand their knowledge, and enrich their experiences.
On the other hand
, it is crucial for
students
 to concentrate on their main
subject
. As they delve deeper into their field of study, the material becomes more complex.
Students
 must ensure they can pass their main
subject
's final exams to graduate and obtain their qualifications. Focusing too much on additional subjects could jeopardize their performance in their primary field of study, which would be detrimental In conclusion,
while
 it is beneficial for
students
 to learn an additional
subject
, they must
also
 prioritize their main
subject
 to ensure academic success and secure their qualifications.
Submitted by 18310971390 on

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relevant specific examples
The essay can benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the points made. For instance, mentioning examples of universities offering dual programs or testimonials from students who have pursued minor subjects could add credibility.
supported main points
It might help to either indicate that the essay acknowledges counter-arguments more explicitly or integrate them more effectively into the main points, allowing for a balanced discussion.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that follow a logical progression.
complete response
The writer clearly covers both views – the benefits of studying additional subjects and the importance of focusing on the main subject – offering a balanced perspective.
clear comprehensive ideas
The language used is clear, and the essay presents comprehensive ideas in a manner that is easy to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the topic and summarize the main points discussed, contributing to overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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