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Band 6

It is sometimes argued that prison is the best place for criminals, while others think that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion?

#prison #place #criminals
Many people hold the belief that prison is the best place for keeping criminals, others,
however
, subscribe to the view that there are more efficient solutions to handle them. While both arguments are justified to some extent, I lay my thoughts alongside the alternative ways. On the one hand, I hold the belief that it is appropriate to put criminals behind bars.
This
 is due to the view that prison can act as a deterrent towards the offenders for fear of retribution.
For instance
, prisoners undergo punishment and harsh labour will learn to avoid crimes or violence if ever released from prison, especially those who serve a long sentence of up to years or even decades.
Moreover
, as
inmates
Suggestion
the inmates
 are locked up in jail under strict supervision, their unlawful acts will be restricted which ensures the security of the citizen.
On the other hand
, apart from imprisonment, I content that two
alternatives including
Accept comma addition
alternatives, including
 vocational training and education can guarantee a significant outcome in the long-run.
Firstly
, vocational training
such
 as construction or bus driving programs can tackle the problem of income for many lawbreakers who turn to crime for a living. Thereby,
such
 courses can help the criminals fit in with the society and
further
 becoming a law-abiding citizen.
Additionally
, in terms of education, rehabilitation programs can help the offenders acknowledge their wrongdoings and their negative impacts on the society,
hence
 develop better
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
behaviour
 and attitudes. Under
such
 training, the criminals will be given the chance to turn over a new leaf and reform their lives In conclusion, while applying imprisonment to criminal is undoubtedly an effective punishment, in my view, other measures
such
 as providing a proper
jobs
Suggestion
job
 and education can have a more significant
effects
Suggestion
effect
 eventually.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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