IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days some
people
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 hold the view that
people
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 should take
risks
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, it is because it is important in their work or daily lives.
This
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 topic is popular and common all over the world. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 point, I believe that it is a good action to improve ourselves. On the one hand,
people
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 can improve all kinds of abilities. As far as we all know, there are all kinds of challenges and difficulties in our lives. If
people
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 want to face these
risks
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in
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with
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 a positive attitude, they will get a sense of achievement and a lot of opportunities. When
people
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 take
risks
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, their communication skills, problem-solving abilities, and teamwork skills will improve in
this
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 process.
People
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 even will get some opportunities for promotion and pay raises.
In addition
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,
people
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 will promote their development and growth. When
people
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 meet some problems, they should find some ways to solve them. In
this
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 process,
people
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 can explore something new which they did not notice
it
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apply
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before. It is
also
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 a good method to open their mind. Meanwhile,
people
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 can
also
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 become more and more confident, they will even enjoy talking with
people
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 from all walks of life.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 support that taking
riskd
Correct your spelling
risks
risk
 will create a sense of pressure. They do not want to get too much stress , especially in their personal lives.
However
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,
people
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 taking
risks
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 is a good function to keep creative. In conclusion,
people
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 should be encouraged to take
risks
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, especially young
people
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. Young
people
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 are the future of our nation, and the youth are the hope of our country.
People
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 are really into taking
risks
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 will make the country younger and younger ,
as well as
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, create a better tomorrow.

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language precision
Try to use more precise language and reduce minor grammar errors to enhance clarity.
example depth
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
transition improvement
Work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly to improve coherence.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a straightforward structure throughout.
paragraph focus
Each paragraph has a central idea that is relevant to the overall argument.
argument support
The essay supports the idea that taking risks can improve personal and professional skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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