IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after retirement. Discuss why this is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#countries #people #move #part #country #retirement #outcomes #situation #support
A lot of individuals relocate abroad or to other parts of the country after retirement. In my opinion, I believe
this
 happens because of the need for adventure and for others, to seek greener pastures. There are a number of reasons people move overseas or another state within their nation after retirement,
Firstly
, the need to see other parts of the world. For someone who has spent all their lives in a particular location, they may want to see other cultures, learn people's languages and generally see how people of other tribes live, work and play.
For example
, in Nigeria only, we have about 1000tribes and someone may feel the need to experience those cultures.
Secondly
,
this
 may be for the development of their passion.
For instance
, someone may have always thought about being an actor, but has never had the opportunity. Being in Hollywood may present that chance to pursue their interests.
Finally
, people relocate to other places to seek better opportunities in life. Take
for example
, families from underdeveloped countries who have earned low income all their life, they would definitely look forward to helping their families have better lives. The effect of
this
 movement sometimes are not all positive.
This
 can cause separation from families and
also
 opportunities may not come as envisaged. Being away from one's family can impact negatively in the long run because the person will be amongst strangers whom they may not be trustworthy.
Also
, one may not get the sort of opportunities they planned for before leaving their home countries.
For example
, a musician that already his or her mind set on releasing records, but gets to the host Country and discovered it is not as easy as it seems. In conclusion, while it may be good to change location or move around the world after retirement, one has to consider the disadvantages as well so as not to be disappointed.
Submitted by yumlofin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: