IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The increasing demand for energy sources has led to the consideration of extracting oil and gas from remote and untouched natural
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 there are some drawbacks associated with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 practice, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of exploring these
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for oil and gas may be the damage to ecosystems.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 can result in a loss of biodiversity and disruption of natural habitats, which are critical for maintaining ecological balance. Another perceived negative is the impact on
indigenous
Capitalize word
Indigenous

The word indigenous should be capitalized in this context.

show examples
 communities living in these remote
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. These communities might face displacement and loss of their traditional way of life, which could lead to cultural erosion and socioeconomic challenges.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a primary advantage of exploiting these
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is the substantial energy resources that can be tapped, fueling industrial growth and development.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 can lead to significant economic benefits
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as job creation and increased revenues for local and national governments.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, technological advancements can make the extraction process more efficient and possibly less harmful to the environment. These innovations may reduce the negative impact on natural habitats and ensure safer extraction methods. On balance, it is true that exploring remote natural
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for oil and gas would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my view, its positive effects in terms of economic growth and technological advancements override the disadvantages. By implementing strict regulations and sustainable practices, it is possible to mitigate the negative impacts and harness the benefits of these energy resources.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This would also enhance your task response score.
task achievement
Consider adding a brief counterargument to demonstrate a well-rounded analysis.
coherence cohesion
Add more transitions between paragraphs to further enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly presents your argument and summarizes your points.
coherence cohesion
You provide a logical structure with well-organized paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the issue.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages, then provides your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • energy sources
  • industrial growth and development
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • revenues
  • technological advancements
  • extraction process
  • biodiversity
  • natural habitats
  • indigenous communities
  • displacement
  • traditional way of life
  • environmental disasters
  • oil spills
  • long-lasting effects
  • widespread effects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: