IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
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It's commonly argued that countries should improve educational majors than on recreational and sports activities. I disagree with considering sports and recreational fields less important to be invested on compering to education.
This
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 essay is going to discuss how fitness and creativity meant to be part of the fundamental education system and the importance of both aspects to well present our countries to the world. Game and recreation should be considered along with the educational system, universities and schools encouraged to provide more lessons in these regards, the reason behind
that is
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 people can get specialist by graduating from these specific majors, pastime and recreational activities can be taught and presented with specific curriculum, many athletes rewarded with medals based on their successfulness in a certain type of fun,
for example
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 Mohammed Ali Klay was one of the famous and successful person who took boxing as hobby a career to build upon. There are other benefits of investing in
such
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 fields, as there are enormous and variety competitive athletics games and creative shows, which are created on the participant base to allow different specialized people to be part of. Empowering young people to gain experience and skills in those fields can have a significant positive effect on their countries, in the other words, they can build up a reputation about their country and its improved systems,
therefore
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 attracting tourists and students and other investment form the whole world. In conclusion, government is encouraged to allocate from its budget to improve the educational system, as well as leisure and competitive sport games, we can't deny the benefits that brings to our country.
Submitted by zeynebjihad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
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