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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that money is one of the most important factors in a person's happiness. To what extent do you agree

#people #money #factors #person #happiness
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To some people, financial status is one of the primary principles in life to stay happy. I agree that
money
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 plays a big role in living in a better l
ifestyle but,
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lifestyle, but
 at the same
time
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, I believe that there are other more important factors as well. There’s no doubt that
money
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 is required to f
ulfill
put in effect
fulfil
our basic needs like shelter, clothes and food. A rich
person
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 who has
money
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 to cover all these necessities may seem to be h
appy but
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happy, but
it doesn’t mean that a poor
person
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 who can’t afford these things is not happy. One, who is striving to earn more and more
money
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 being busy with work and travelling for business can rarely spend his
time
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 in a circle of their family. And
this
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 unhealthy tendency makes h
appy neither
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happy, neither
him nor his family. When it comes to p
oor
Suggestion
a poor person
the poor person
poor people
person
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, even if he earns less
money
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, he is able to spend more
time
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 with his k
indered
similar in quality or character
kindred
.
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.
This
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 kind of families t
end
Suggestion
tends
 to be more close and kind to each other, which is an essential part of
happiness
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.
On the other hand
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, being socially active plays not less important role in reaching
happiness
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. There are many people suffering from loneliness and depression. When people are so busy with earning
money
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 that don’t have
time
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 to talk to anyone to share their thoughts and feelings
.
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.
In
this
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 way, they lose their place in social life and one key to
happiness
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. Because interacting with someone whom we love gives us internal
happiness
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 and it is very pleasant to know that we have someone who cares for us. As another significant factor of
happiness
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 one should consider own health of course. Sometimes having a great amount of
money
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 can’t provide a
person
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 with health and it seems that being poor but completely healthy is a great
happiness
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.
Therefore
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, I would like to sum up with the idea that, having a lot of
money
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 not always means to be happy. I strongly believe that being socially active and being healthy are more important indicators of
happiness
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.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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