Many people believe that money is one of the most important factors in a person's happiness. To what extent do you agree

To some people, financial status is one of the primary principles in life to stay happy. I agree that
money
plays a big role in living in a better l
ifestyle but,
Accept comma addition
lifestyle, but
at the same
time
, I believe that there are other more important factors as well. There’s no doubt that
money
is required to f
ulfill
put in effect
fulfil
our basic needs like shelter, clothes and food. A rich
person
who has
money
to cover all these necessities may seem to be h
appy but
Accept comma addition
happy, but
it doesn’t mean that a poor
person
who can’t afford these things is not happy. One, who is striving to earn more and more
money
being busy with work and travelling for business can rarely spend his
time
in a circle of their family. And
this
unhealthy tendency makes h
appy neither
Accept comma addition
happy, neither
him nor his family. When it comes to p
oor
Suggestion
a poor person
the poor person
poor people
person
, even if he earns less
money
, he is able to spend more
time
with his k
indered
similar in quality or character
kindred
.
Accept space
.
This
kind of families t
end
Suggestion
tends
to be more close and kind to each other, which is an essential part of
happiness
.
On the other hand
, being socially active plays not less important role in reaching
happiness
. There are many people suffering from loneliness and depression. When people are so busy with earning
money
that don’t have
time
to talk to anyone to share their thoughts and feelings
.
Accept space
.
In
this
way, they lose their place in social life and one key to
happiness
. Because interacting with someone whom we love gives us internal
happiness
and it is very pleasant to know that we have someone who cares for us. As another significant factor of
happiness
one should consider own health of course. Sometimes having a great amount of
money
can’t provide a
person
with health and it seems that being poor but completely healthy is a great
happiness
.
Therefore
, I would like to sum up with the idea that, having a lot of
money
not always means to be happy. I strongly believe that being socially active and being healthy are more important indicators of
happiness
.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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