IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
Some people say that students who study at the same time
work
miss
Suggestion
missed
 out on their education and are over and over on their feet. In
this
 essay
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will explore some of the reasons as to why
this
 happens and
also
 provide some solutions.
Firstly
, students
work
 to gain
work
experience
.
Presently students
Accept comma addition
Presently, students
 who complete their studies with
work
experience
 are more marketable and more likely to be employed by potential employers.
For instance
, when seeking for a job position as a nurse it was an added advantage for me to secure the position due to prior
experience
.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
working as a
students
Suggestion
student
 provides a source of income. Students go through
challenges especially
Accept comma addition
challenges, especially
 when they have a family
for instance
 to support.
This
 prompts a student to
work
 so as to meet the needs of their family.
On the other hand
, as a way to curb the highlighted causes, employers should offer to be flexible with job applications as students will reduce the much time they put into
work
 and focus on studies. It is
also
 important if the government could come in and offer loans as a way to assist students struggling to
work
 to look after their families. In conclusion working to gain
experience
 and earn an income has become an
intergral
existing as an essential constituent or characteristic
integral
 part of the students.
However
, to reduce the pressure
off
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 the students
incorperating
make into a whole or make part of a whole
incorporating
 government to offer loans and employers providing
flexibilty
the property of being flexible; easily bent or shaped
flexibility
 will ensure their studies are running with ease.
Submitted by es.wanja21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: