The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010.

The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in London, 2000-2010.
The graph illustrates
yearly
Correct article usage
the yearly
show examples
income of three different bakeries in London between 2000 and 2010.
Overall
, it is obvious that changes in the amount of Sofia and
cake
lab
showed upward trends, simultaneously bakery-Buns represented completely vice verse trend.
According to
the picture Sofia stayed
a
Change preposition
at a
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steady level
about
Change preposition
of about
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100 over the course of 5 years,
while
cake
lab
have
Change the verb form
has
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already presented a sharp increase from 20 to 40 during these years.
However
Add a comma
,However
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in 2005
cake
lab
presented plateau trends till the end of
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2008.
In addition
, at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
Sofia significantly increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
200.The consumption of both bakeries rockets their levels: Safia (200),
cake
Correct word choice
and cake
show examples
lab
(100) towards the end of the year.
In contrast
, Buns were a little bit
non fruitful
Add a hyphen
non-fruitful
show examples
business for a decade.It showed
Correct article usage
a noticeably
show examples
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
decrease
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
150-30
at the end
of the year.
Although
even it was shown
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
highest point at the beginning
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
2000-2002 about 150-200,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
finally
it had been detected that its consumers denied
to buy
Change the verb form
buying
show examples
this products
Change the determiner
this product
these products
show examples
for the rest of the year in it was falling about 30.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cake, lab with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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