IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Men and women are different in terms of their characteristics and abilities. For this reason, some jobs are better done by men and others by women. Do you agree or disagree?

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These days, it seems that more
women
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 are able to do
men
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's jobs in industry and enter "male occupations" or even vice versa.
While
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,
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apply
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 some people hold to the conservative view that certain jobs are better performed by
men
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 and others by
women
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. I personally believe that everyone is capable of doing any job effectively, if companies give them the opportunity.The reasons for my position are as follows. First of all, I believe it is a huge mistake to view each gender for specific jobs and hold to old stereotypes that are inaccurate.
Although
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 there are some occupations that require physical capability or emotional communication.
However
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, humans can achieve anything by putting extreme effort into their goals. I feel he/she should be provided the opportunity to prove him/herself capable.
Further
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 and more importantly, though, society needs the presence of each gender.
For instance
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, in workplaces that have males and females in their organisation, you can feel a sense of balance.
Moreover
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, it leads to creativity and innovation
due to
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 different prospects. So, the owners of the company should see them as an effective and efficient solution.Modern countries match
men
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 and
women
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 alongside each other to fulfil their economic goals and progress to the next level these days. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
men
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 and
women
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 are capable of any job
,
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 if they have been provided the chance.
In addition
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, it is an asset for the industry to consider the person by the value of his/her work not by his/her gender.

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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and supported with relevant examples to enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas in paragraphs to create a clearer logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures for variety and accuracy.
task achievement
Your position on the topic is clear and confident throughout the essay.
task achievement
You highlighted the importance of diversity in the workplace effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate
  • biological differences
  • characteristics
  • gender roles
  • stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • gender biases
  • fair representation
  • skills
  • qualifications
What to do next:
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