IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest

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Nowadays, there are a lot of
students
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 who
work
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while
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 studying.
Although
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this
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 tendency may lead to negative results, the number of young people who sacrifice
education
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 for
work
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 is growing. I believe that
this
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problem
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 has certain causes and can be solved by taking special measures. It is apparent that most of the
students
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 who
work
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 have many financial
expenses
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 to meet. One common cause is
high
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the high
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 cost of
education
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. As many colleges and universities set high tuition fees, some families cannot fully afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher
education
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 for their children.
Consequently
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, these
students
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 have to
work
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 to pay university and college fees. The other cause is living
expenses
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. Many
students
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 study away from
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their hometown
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hometown
Fix the agreement mistake
hometowns
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,
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apply
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 and have to pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc. As it is often hard to cover these
expenses
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,
students
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 are forced to earn money to afford their living. I think that the
problem
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 of
students
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 working during their studies results in
Correct article usage
a
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lower quality of
education
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 and has no benefits at all.
Thus
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, it should be solved on the governmental level. I can suggest two possible solutions to
this
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problem
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.
Firstly
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, the government could make higher
education
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 free.
For instance
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,
this
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 result can be achieved by financing educational establishments from the country’s budget. Not only will it make universities and colleges accessible for everyone, but it will
also
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 reduce the number of working
students
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. The second solution is promoting unpaid e-learning.
Such
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form
Correct article usage
a form
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 of distance
education
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 doesn’t require a lot of resources to be maintained. What’s more,
students
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 don’t have to leave their homes and can plan their schedules the way they prefer. In conclusion, I believe that mainly lack of financial resources causes
students
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 to
work
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, but
this
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problem
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 can be solved by lowering the amount of financial
expenses
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students
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 have to meet

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
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