IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from international competitions. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sports #violence #arts #competitions
The martial art should be banned from international competition that what some people proposing about
this
 kind of pastime to avoid violence watched throughout a combat. In my opinion, I disagree with that point. Looking to the positive side of
this
 sort of
sport
 and how it has a great impact on the player
.
Accept space
.
First
 of all they learn the ethics and how they can control their power as well how they can focus on their aims,
moreover how
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moreover, how
 they learn to defend their self and protect and I'm view I can see that type of
sport
 is like others
,
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,
for instance
 football
also
 has a violent and the player can hurt the others to achieve their goal which it is the win in the end of the competition. In some cases
that is
 true the government needs to ban some kind of martial
sport
 that is spreading in some area or in the street which are illegal to practice
.
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.
however in
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However, in
However in
 my
view it
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view, it
 is unfair to limit the champion of boxing or karate
for example
 to involve in the international one. As a conclusion
,
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,
 we can transmit a good image of these sports as a defensive
instead
 a violent
sport
 and have a look at their advantages to learn from them and bypass their disadvantages
.
Accept space
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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