IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome?

#people #balance #work #parts #lives
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Nowadays, many people have big problems to find
balance
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 between
work
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life
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 and their lives. The business world
is required
Suggestion
requires
 more and more
time
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 to hard
worker
Suggestion
work
 and be emotional health is totally necessary. Not only a family is feeling
that but
Accept comma addition
that, but
also
Linking Words
 the human relations,
for example
Linking Words
, there
are
Suggestion
is
 a lot of people with poor mental health primarily in
big city
Suggestion
the big city
big cities
, when is a
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 source. To find
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balance it
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balance, it
 is
necessary provide
Accept comma addition
necessary, provide
 priorities, manage the
time
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 and be
focus
Suggestion
focused
at
Suggestion
on
work
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.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the
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work
Suggestion
worker
spend
Suggestion
spends
 much
time
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 during a day.
In addition
Linking Words
 to travel to
office
Suggestion
the office
 and for back home. The getting out of
this
Linking Words
 situation is provide priorities, because there are not only
work
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life
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, but
also
Linking Words
 the social
life
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.
Furthermore
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, the business world occupied much
time
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 in a day, as a
consequence demand
Accept comma addition
consequence, demand
manage
Suggestion
manages
 the
time
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 and don't overestimate that.
Such
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 as organized all tasks and obligations, naturally think
to
Suggestion
of
 during the weekend be with family and relax.
Finally
Linking Words
,
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 point totally important to
balance
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 a
life
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is be
Suggestion
is to be
 knowledge about focus, whereas there are many things to disturb
mind
Suggestion
the mind
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
person
Suggestion
a person
people
the person
persons
 who
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work
Suggestion
works
 with technology and internet, exist a lot of advertisements to take focus at
work
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. For that reason, the big
work
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 actually is
know
Suggestion
knowing
 how
balance
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 a
life
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 to be healthy and prepared to go forward,
then
Linking Words
 don’t
forgot
Suggestion
forget
 about yourself, provide priorities, manage the
time
Use synonyms
 and be
focus
Suggestion
focused
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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