IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Peoples believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness. Others believe that different factors of people’s life influence happiness. Discuss both views. State your opinion

#peoples #individuals #happiness #factors #people’s #life #influence
Happiness is one of the most important aspects of lifestyle that have a big effect on our lives. It is a debate that each person is in charge of their fulfilment.
However
, others opine that there are various criteria in the public’s lifestyles that affect their happiness. I agree with the notion that many factors could affect our lives. On the one hand, all of us know that problems are an indispensable part of our lives and we always encounter vicissitudes of life. But, despite all these problems, happiness is the sole responsibility of an individual. People have the perception that their euphoria is reliant on their own mental and heart conditions. They are the people who could bring happiness by controlling them.
Moreover
, there are myriad self-help books, yoga and meditation institutes preach how to take control of them and to maintain a good state of mind and equanimity. Happiness is an inner satisfaction that could be achieved through inner peace and practices like yoga and meditation.
On the other hand
, there are many criteria
such
 as social, health and pecuniary issues that play a huge role in an individual’s paradise. These problems attribute their lives to be influenced.
For example
, deem an insouciant person who had a good life and used to make trips on the weekends, suddenly have had a car accident, while his family was with him. After the incident, if he wakes up and sees himself paralysed, while all his family is dead in that car accident, he would be shocked and sombre.
As a result
, troubles like these will affect everyone’s life. To recapitulate, euphoria is an internal satisfaction and you can achieve that by inner peace and exercises.
However
, we must not neglect the huge factor of external criteria in our lives. I opine that the external factors' effects are more prominent.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: