IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

#countries #level #crime #crimes
It has been observed that the
crime
rate
 is increasing rapidly in many countries and criminals are adapting more violent actions to commit the
crime
. Governments are trying their hard to control the
crime
rate
 and bring it to the sustainable limit, but it seems that are unable to achieve
this
 target as we are coming across more and more criminal activities on a daily basis. I can think of several reasons behind the sudden increase in criminal acts. One of the reasons is that our laws are not strong enough to punish the offenders for their deeds.
For example
, In India, the mother of a rape victim is fighting against rapists since
last
 4-5 years, but
this
 case is not coming to conclusion despite rapists being already punished to be executed. Each time when the government decides a day to execute them, their lawyer comes up with arguments that save them from being executed. Another reason behind the increasing
rate
 of
crime
 is the gap between rich and poor people in our society and lack of job opportunities. The desire to live the luxurious life and unemployment make people stealing things that do not have and they cannot afford to buy. There are several groups in some countries that are in oppose of particular religions and support violent activities to harm people of those religions. It is very difficult to control the
crime
rate
, but I can think of several ways that can help to reduce it some extent. Governments should take strict legal actions against criminals who have committed serious crimes
such
 as rape, murder etc.
This
 can reduce encouragement that they are getting to perform more violent actions in future. Increasing cost of items that are needed in daily routine
such
 as fruits, vegetables, grains should be controlled so that people can buy it
instead
 of stealing it. Government should focus on creating job opportunities sufficient enough to feed the population of the country so that people can have regular income. There are some crimes which are extremely difficult to control as they have religious belief tide for them unless we can find an effective way to stop them. Perhaps we can try to make sure that fewer young people enter the cycle of
crime
. We could do
this
 through education and imparting moral values and the importance of equality.
Submitted by dharit.thegreat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: