IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people nowaday do not feel safe either when they are at home or go out. What are the reason? what can wo do to solve this problem?

It is true that people in
this
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 modern day do not feel safe either when they are at home or
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 out.
This
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 essay will discuss several causes and put forward some solutions to tackle
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, the fact that the public in
this
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 modern-day era does not feel secure can be attributed to a number of different factors the primary cause would be a rise in crime rates
such
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 as robbers or assault. It makes the community feel insecure and vulnerable. Another contributing factor to
this
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 could be the prevalence of content about criminals on social media platforms. the community are more aware of crime and safety concerns.
In other words
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, some social media users may post fake news that leads to the anxiety of the public.
Nevertheless
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, some possible measures could be adopted to tackle the problem described above. The first possible measure is for the government, to create stricter regulations and improve enforcement.
This
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 could discourage the population from committing crimes.
For example
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, they can install more surveillance cameras or increase police patrol, which can detect and deter criminals from taking action and create a well as a sense of security. Another remedy might be that local authorities might hold social events to build stronger social ties In conclusion, there are two primary reasons why communities in
this
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 day and age do not feel safe whether they are at home or going out
However
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, the government and local authorities could implement a
rage
Correct your spelling
range
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 of
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 to tackle the problem.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify all points in your introduction, ensuring that the reader knows exactly what will be discussed. For example, specify key reasons and solutions in your introduction.
task achievement
While you have presented causes and solutions, further elaboration with more detailed examples would strengthen your argument. Consider providing specific statistics, anecdotes, or case studies to enhance credibility.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs transition smoothly; some ideas appear abrupt or disconnected. Use cohesive devices or linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation, such as using capitalization correctly at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns. For instance, 'the community' should be 'the community' or 'the public'.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You identified relevant causes and solutions relating to the feelings of insecurity people experience, showing a good understanding of the issue.
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