IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days, some people think there is no reason to spend all of that
money
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 on making the
technology
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 better for
space
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exploration
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,
while
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 others think there are many other issues to spend
this
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money
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 on. In
this
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 essay, I am going to write my view on both sides. In terms of disadvantages,
technology
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 in all sectors has expanded over the years and putting your full attention on one direction is a huge mistake. The main reason given to support
this
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 claim is that no one knows if it's real the
space
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exploration
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. To illustrate, there are lots of people who put their funds into one way and they lose everything, du to it is a lie that the popular and rich people let the society believe that it is a great chance and they have no idea it is just marketing.
In other words
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, do not put your trust in a specific place; there is nothing guaranteed.
Moreover
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, the
technology
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 of
space
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exploration
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 is massive and still under development.
Firstly
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, as many times you tried to be sure of everything, still there is nothing 100% right.
However
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, going to the safe side is better than being trapped with all of your savings.
For example
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, the
technology
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 in the coffee shops is viral, and
that is
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 a strong and most likely guarantee. In conclusion,
although
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 developing the tech for
space
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exploration
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 is an interesting idea, there are more interesting things on Earth to put your
money
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 on.
Therefore
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, I believe spending
money
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 on something normal is better than something unguaranteed.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and support it with main points throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs for each idea to improve clarity and organization in your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more believable.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and spelling, as errors can confuse the reader and weaken your points.
task achievement
You introduced the topic and acknowledged both sides of the argument, which is a good start.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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