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Band 4.5

The car is a disastrous 20th Century invention that has made the world’s cities more dangerous and polluted, as well as being responsible for the deaths of millions of people in accidents. Do you agree or disagree?

#car #century #invention #world’s #cities #deaths #millions #people #accidents
Many people consider that
car
 is dangerous and polluted
vehice
a conveyance that transports people or objects
vehicle
 in cities. It
also
 is responsible for the death of millions of people in accidents. I only agree in part with
this
 thought for the following reasons.
Car
Suggestion
The car
 is the most common cause of
traffic jam
Suggestion
traffic jams
a traffic jam
 during peak hours. When
car
Suggestion
a car
 is stuck in traffic congestion, it emits emissions into the
air which
Accept comma addition
air, which
 contribute to
air
 pollution and are a major ingredient in the creation of smog large cities,
for instance
, Bejing-the capital of China.
Beside
Suggestion
Besides
,
Accept space
,
urban citizens who live in the polluted
atmostphere
a particular environment or surrounding influence
atmosphere
 will have
higher percentage
Suggestion
a higher percentage
 of getting problem with breathing than rural one. Asthma, changes in lung function and cardiovascular disease are some of popular diseases.
However
, driving a
car
make
Suggestion
made
 people feel safer than using a public transportation. With high
techlogies
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technologies
 equipped and combined in a
car
,
this
 private
automotor
someone who acts or responds in a mechanical or apathetic way
automata
automaker
 has
safety system
Suggestion
a safety system
 which is provided to protect users if
a
Suggestion
an
 accident happens. One example of
this
 technology is
air
 bag-it opens and covers almost driver’s body when
car
Suggestion
the car
 takes a force strong enough comes from the outside of the
car
. Beside,
car’s
Suggestion
car
 cover and glass reduces the impact of solar radiation from the sun to a human body that could
results
Suggestion
result
 in skin cancer or clean the atmosphere through
a
Suggestion
an
air
-filter and provide more fresh
air
 to
brath
draw air into, and expel out of, the lungs
breathe
breath
. And with a condemn steel shield,
private
Suggestion
a private car
car
 is a perfect method to go
out side
beyond the boundary of; external to
outside
 in the midnight without too much
concious
intentionally conceived
conscious
 about criminals. In conclusion,
car
Suggestion
the car
 is a useful 20th century that
change
Suggestion
changes
human’s
Suggestion
human
 history in transportation and its benefits are
outweight
be heavier than
outweighed
outweigh
 the drawbacks. Coming with technology’s development in
near future
Suggestion
the near future
, cars would be more reliable and
enviroment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 friendly with citizens.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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