Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while other think that there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both the views with your opinion.

#people #gym

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There are those who think going to the

gym

is the best

way

to stay in shape while others disagree

Accept space

this

essay, I am going to examine both points of view and

then

give my perspective on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who believe the benefits of exercising at

gym

Suggestion

the gym

a gym

is considerably

outweigh

Suggestion

outweighed

its disadvantages. The main reason for believing

this

is that trainers working in gyms are specialists of bodybuilding; they know the most effective

way

to make a beautiful body shape in the short term. It is

also

possible to say that gyms have every equipment

that is

prepared for

individuals’ purpose

Suggestion

the individuals’ purpose

. A good illustration of

this

is when professional wrestlers need to be fit and pumped they always go to

gym

Suggestion

the gym

to use numerous exercise machines.

On the other hand

, it is

also

possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in

fact nowadays

Accept comma addition

fact, nowadays

YouTubers are replacing gyms by introducing an enormous number of home exercising. People often

this

opinion because they believe that so many famous former or present movie stars are

instructing

Suggestion

instructed

in many channels. A

second

point is that actually doing cardio exercise

such

as running or cycling is

way

more essential to be thinner; there are so many healthy people who have gorgeous bodies would run or ride

bicycle

Suggestion

bicycles

on the daily basis. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,

however I

Accept comma addition

however, I

feel that going to

gym

Suggestion

the gym

a gym

to be fit is the best suited

way

for me because there are exemplary and qualified trainers, and even athletes go to

gym

Suggestion

the gym

a gym

to use a lot of exercising equipment. Given

this

situation, it is recommended for people to have a spirit, go to the

gym

regularly, and make a good relation whip with trainers.

Submitted by jimmyang1985 on Wed Mar 25 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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