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Band 6.5

Some universty students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#universty #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Some
university
 students want to study extra courses
in addition
 to their main subjects, but others argue they need to focus on those compulsory ones and get higher marks. These two ideas can lead to advantages and disadvantages both to your own knowledge and experiences and what you want to do in the
future
. On the one hand, many
people
 who go to a
university
 may learn subjects that are apart from their main course. It can be
due to
 different reasons.
Firstly
, they may want to expand their knowledge and get more experience attending lectures from some experts in a specific industry,
for instance
.
This
 can permit you to get an earlier understanding of what you really like and what you like to do in the
future
,
in addition
 to what you will face in the
future
 work industry.
Secondly
, students may choose other activities as their hobbies,
such
 as courses about painting, playing some musical instrument or doing some sports. These courses could make them relaxing and less stressful after the hard work in college.
On the other hand
, there are
people
 who believe you need to study fully in the
university
 to get the highest mark. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
 view. It is true that when
people
 are in school, might study a lot to reach higher scores to enter a prestigious
university
 in the
future
. In college, it is important to learn and understand what are you studying and reflect on it in your
future
 work. In conclusion, whether students choose or not another subject other than the compulsory one, is based on one's personal preference.
However
 I believe that
university
 life can allow you to discover the world and you can learn so much from
people
 around you, so do not focus only on getting better scores in your exams.
Submitted by rachel131 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay contains some grammatical issues that affect the clarity of your ideas. You should work on constructing sentences that are grammatically accurate and convey your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure the introduction of your essay is clear and introduces the topic effectively; a concise thesis statement is essential.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to improve the progression of ideas from one sentence to another. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, you should try to cover all parts of the prompt equally. Work on providing a more balanced discussion of the two views before stating your opinion.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to substantiate your points. Examples help illustrate and strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
Be cautious not to digress from the topic. All ideas expressed in the essay should be relevant to the questions asked in the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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