In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have more positive or negative effects on society?

#countries #proportion #people #effects #society

In recent years, the total of older people has been rising in many parts of the world. IN my view,

this

have

Suggestion

has

more positive effects on our society,

however

Accept comma addition

however, this

this

also

have some negative effects of the state budget. On the one hand the

increasin

becoming greater or larger

increasing

total of older people can bring minuses to the union economy. As the statistic of the senior people increases, demand for

healthg

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

care services

also

rises at the same.

Therefore

authority

Suggestion

the authority

has to provide

higher budget

Suggestion

a higher budget

Suggestion

for

medical services.

Also

the larger amount of money spends to retirement houses.

As a result

of these facts, the economy of the state can be poor in the near future.

In addition

, the government cannot devote money to the development of other services.

On the other hand

, the growing sum of older people has

also

some positive aspects.

Firstly

, older people much more experienced and can give advices to young people. Every time when we encounter some problems, we still need them, advice and help.

Secondly

, they are help not only for us, but

also

our kids when we are busy with some kind of work they always look after our children. And

finally

, ultimately

this

, our life experiences will enhance. There is no doubt that elderly people can bring much better effects on our society and we really must respect and care of them. In conclusion,

although

older people bring negatives to the state budget, I believe that older people are really needed in our society and the ministry must provide and care for them until the end of their lives.

Submitted by harrisontrager1997 on Wed Mar 25 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have more positive or negative effects on society?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write a letter to owner say how long you want to rent the apartment explain why your plans have changed tell tge owner about a problem in the apartment

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think every human being can create artworks (e.g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will l earn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.