Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#decades #tourism #people #communities

In the past few decades, growth has been observed in global

tourism

. It is claimed that

tourism

should be supported because of its positive impact on

community

Suggestion

the community

communities

a community

. I mostly agree with

this

view because it

also

has detrimental effects On the one hand, tourists can harm the local environment.

Although

local people try to keep clean their country, it will not be the case for the most tourists as they are living there temporary. To take an example, thousands of tourists visit

thailand

a country of southeastern Asia that extends southward along the Isthmus of Kra to the Malay Peninsula

Thailand

each year and when they feed

monekys

Suggestion

the monkeys

monkeys

zoo

Suggestion

zoos

the zoo

a zoo

, they tend to throw the trash into the nature.

As a

result

, it

harm

Suggestion

harms

the nature.

This

trend can

also

lead countries to become financially dependent on

tourism

Meaningly

Suggestion

Meaningless

, some countries will base their economy on

tourism

. So, it can

result

in crisis when they lose their visitors.

On the other hand

tourism

can lead

umeployment

the state of being unemployed or not having a job

unemployment

rate to decrease. As

tourism sector

Suggestion

the tourism sector

develops,

increasing number

Suggestion

an increasing number

increasing numbers

of people can be employed in sectors related to

this

. Meanwhile, it can

also

benefit the country's economy.

Meaningly

Suggestion

Meaningless

, governments can put an entrance fee for museums, can sell its local crafts and can rent houses.

As a

result

government

Suggestion

the government

will get alternative income by spending less money. In conclusion, while

tourism

can have effects on the environment and can

result

tourism

dependance,

refers to the speaker or writer

believe it should be promoted in order to hire more people into jobs and increase the economy.

Submitted by nurikoned on Wed Mar 25 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Over the last few decades, there has been an increase in international tourism. Some people think that tourism is beneficial for local communities and should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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