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Band 7

Some people think nowadays children have too much freedom. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
It is a true that today's children have more independence rather than previous life generation.
However
, nowadays, many people believe that pupils have a lot of liberty. I strongly agree with
this
 trend to a large extent and in the ensuing paragraphs I will allude to these arguments
further
. There are multifarious points to shore up my point of view.
First
 and foremost, today, parents have a hustle and bustle life, both father and mother are working in their field.
Therefore
, they give less quality time to their pupils, which offers them a great
freedom
 and children enjoy shopping with friends, watching movies and so on.
In addition
, children watch foreign
culture films
Accept comma addition
culture, films
, music and a source of entertainments.
Although
, they become westernized culture and lives alone.
Therefore
, they get quality
freedom
 without restrictions of elders.
Furthermore
, in present day we are living in an age of rapid technological advances. It affects in different ways.
For instance
, children use social media
such
 as Facebook, Whatsapp, and Instagram, Pupils have opportunities to use these platforms and they have the liberty of making new friends by these technologies.
On the contrary
, children have less
freedom
 from their parents.
This
 restriction is right for children's life. If parents will give more independence to children, they would divert to a wrong path. For, example, pupils will drink alcohol and consume drugs. To conclude, I personally reckon that the offsprings in
this
 modern time are free to a certain extent, but the lack of
freedom
 in other aspects.
Submitted by ppparthpatel906 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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