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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that the government should financially support retired people. Others think they should care for themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #support #care
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It is a fact that when people are getting old, they have less energy and health to take a part in work life. While some people believe that governments should backing elder citizens financially, others argue that they should take
responsibility
Use synonyms
 for themselves.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should financially support retired people. One of the reasons is that the retirement pension is limited and often not enough to pay for huge medical bills,
such
Linking Words
 as heart surgery. Old people are more likely to suffer complicated medical conditions. They have paid taxes throughout their working life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is now the
government
Use synonyms
’s
responsibility
Use synonyms
 to look after them when they reach their old age and are no longer in a condition to earn money. The
government
Use synonyms
 can give them some discount,
for example
Linking Words
, when they go to the hospital.
However
Linking Words
, retired people should care for themselves. The
government
Use synonyms
 can only take
responsibility
Use synonyms
 for a limited/insufficient time. It would be unethical to rely totally/entirely on them. The
government
Use synonyms
 is having a too heavy
responsibility
Use synonyms
 while retired people are only a small proportion of the population and the budget is limited.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financially support
  • retired people
  • responsibility
  • standard of living
  • poverty rates
  • elderly
  • essential living expenses
  • housing
  • healthcare
  • caregivers
  • substantial financial burden
  • aging population
  • life expectancies
  • self-sufficient
  • welfare systems
  • tax incentives
  • retirement savings plans
  • personal responsibility
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