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Scientists and technlogy experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technlogy #experts #society #musicians #artists
In the contemporary
world
, it is commonly believed that the value of scientists and engineers is much higher than people who obtained a degree in arts or music. I totally agree with
this
 statement and the reasons for it will be discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, since the beginning of the 21st century, governments have been struggling with the lack of specialists in
fields
Suggestion
the fields
 of electrical, computer and biological engineering because
the young
Suggestion
the younger
 generation tends to believe that these majors are complicated and demands a lot of hard work. Due to
this
 fact, more and more people began choosing humanitarian degrees like music, arts, law, and economics. In Kazakhstan,
for example
, there is a significant shortage of engineers which forced our government to hire overseas specialists.
Increased number
Suggestion
An increased number
 of scientists, at the same time, can help to discover new findings about global warming,
cancerogenesis
, and its treatment.
Moreover
, there is no doubt that global warming poses a significant risk not only for
us but
Accept comma addition
us, but
also
 for our future generations, since
this
 fact, the number of scientists should be increased to solve
such
 issues. A good example of it can be technological countries like Japan or South Korea that influenced their society and young minds to become scientists and currently they have already researched various diseases,
world
 problems and found solutions for them. Because of
this
 fact, now they are one of the leading researches not only in Asia but
also
 all over the
world
. To conclude, from my point of view in spite of financing both musicians and artists, governments should invest solely in STEM majors
for
Suggestion
since
 they will help to change and reshape our
world
 in a better way.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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