you work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country write a letter to your manager. In your letter explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for him/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager

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Dear Mr Smith, I am writing to you in regard to the available position of working for the company for six months in Germany. I am very interested in that offer, I believe it would be a great opportunity to gain some overseas job experience.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I have been searching and Germany offers a very interesting Postgraduate degree in marketing, so, that would be another good reason to move there. Regarding my work, I would be able to work from home and I am certainly sure that I would manage to have everything ready on time. I am always been very well organised so you can trust me. I will not disappoint you.

In addition

Linking Words

, once I am back I will be able to have better a performance at work. As I already said, it would be a great chance for me to grow and gain confidence and knowledge. I really hope you can help me by talking with Mr Colon, as I heard that he is in charge of the organisation, and he will choose who is going to Germany. I am looking forward to hearing back from you with good news. Thank you for your time, Kind regards, Jimena

Submitted by jimeilaria on Mon Sep 16 2024

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task achievement

You provided a complete response to the task, explaining why you want to work in the head office and how your work can be managed. To make your letter even stronger, you could include more details about how this experience will directly benefit your current role.

coherence cohesion

Your letter is logically structured and flows well, but you could improve it by ensuring each paragraph fully develops a single idea. For instance, separating the reason for the move from the logistics of managing your work could make your points clearer.

task achievement

You maintained a professional and polite tone throughout the letter, which is very suitable for the context.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of your letter are appropriate and convey respect towards the recipient.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

201 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

professional advancement
cross-cultural collaboration
headquarters/ head office
global perspective
remote work
temporary assignment
team dynamics
networking opportunities
cultural immersion
succession planning
collaborative tools
time zone coordination
corporate hierarchy
relocation logistics
work-life balance
multinational environment

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?