Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Modern
technology
is one of the most important breakthrough
that has been brought to humanity. Change to a plural noun
breakthroughs
While
I agree that people
gain many benefits from it, thanks to its convenience and high speed, there are still some hidden risks that people
should concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
.
On the one hand, Change preposition
about.
technology
contributes making
Change preposition
to making
people
's lives easier. Thanks to computers, mobile devices and the Internet, people
could
get access to Wrong verb form
can
the
information in the quickest way. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, people
become more and more intelligent and enhance more knowledge. Moreover
, social networking site allows users to exchange information, share their daily life with others and communicate regardless of where they are. For example
, students could access to
learning sites from various sources and search for Change preposition
apply
scholarship
just via a computer connected Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
the
Internet. Technological advancement could reduce environmental pollution and save more fossil fuel. Change preposition
to the
This
is because people
can use advanced technology
to take advantage of alternative sources such
as solar, water and wind.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that modern technology
has some drawbacks. Sometimes, people
are too dependent on technology
, which could lead to passivity and the
decline in creativity. Correct article usage
a
Furthermore
, they could face health problems if the
overuse its usefulness. Correct your spelling
they
For instance
, spending too much time on computers would harm both mental and physical health and increase the risks of some diseases like obesity, diabetes, short-sightedness and depression. In addition
, technological progress is a major contributor to unemployment. In Vietnam, there are over one million people
suffering from the
lack of job opportunities because manual labour is being replaced with Correct article usage
a
technology
.
To sum up
, although
I believe modern technology
is very beneficial, it has some aspects that people
should take into account and remedy its problems.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Address the prompt more clearly and explore both the benefits and dangers of rapid and uncontrolled information exchange. Also, present a clear opinion on whether it is more beneficial or dangerous overall.
coherence cohesion
The introduction could be more focused and clearly present the main points of the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and present a clear opinion.