IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Television is a tool that can be used to learn. Therefore, children should be encouraged to watch it regularly at home and school. To what extent do you agree?

#television #tool #children #home #school
Televisions around the world have become a sources of entertainment, as well as of education. Many would argue that it can be used a tool for learning
by
Suggestion
from
 the young and should be allowed to watch on a regular basis at home and schools. I would somewhat disagree with the notion of it being a tool of learning because no matter how good of a source it can be for the students, it is not the only way to learn and without any supervisions over its consumption, may cause more harm than good. Everyone would agree that students can learn about Science and Technology, Wildlife and many more things by watching informational channels like Discovery Channel, National Geographic Channel, or Animal Planet etc.
Secondly students
Accept comma addition
Secondly, students
 can watch local or national news channels which would help them understand what is going on around the world and
moreover
 can enhance their cognitive ability by watching debates over television.
Furthermore
, the pupils can
also
 understand and witness the diverse culture of their country as well as of other nations by enjoying the cultural events that aired.
On the contrary
, consuming excessively over the screen may hamper their ability to concentrate and may lead to strain on the eyes, or worse, due to constant staring at the it. Along with educational programs available from the wide spectrum of shows, there are few contents which the young counterparts must not be exposed to. Television shows dealing with a lot of violence and adultery may affect the young minds, for the worse. In conclusion, considering televisions as the effective source of learning would be wrong as there are more effective ways of learning things
such
 as reading books, interacting with fellow classmates and others, and getting mentored from teachers at school.
Additionally without
Accept comma addition
Additionally, without
 proper parental guidance the machine may prove to be harmful than good.
Submitted by mandar.pawaskar27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: