IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that it will be better for society and individuals if driverless cars are widely used. Others are not in favour of the same. Discuss both the point of views and give your opinion.

#people #society #individuals #driverless #cars #favour #point
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The robotics revolution is increasing at a faster pace. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the widespread use of autonomous
cars
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 would benefit mankind
while
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 others opine
this
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 approach has some threats associated with it.
However
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, I believe that the spur of robotic
technology
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 in driving will have a positive impact on both individuals and society. Self-driving
cars
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 would help to mitigate the number of accidents happening on the road. It is evident that most of the accidents take place
due to
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 the reckless behaviour of the driver.
Technology
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on the other hand
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 would eliminate the margin of error that humans tend to miscalculate, like not paying attention to the pedestrians or upcoming traffic
while
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 turning. So, by using
technology
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 we can diminish the number of
people
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 dying
due
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apply
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on roads
due to
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 human error.
Thus
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, it would pave the way to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better future
of
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
On the other hand
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, the introduction of the robot machinery will be far from being painless.
People
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 will become unemployed if replaced with
such
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 technologies. Most individuals rely on platforms
such
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 as Uber Driver and Ola for their daily earnings. To take an example, many unemployed individuals in India use
such
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 applications for their monthly income,in turn, is responsible for hindering their growth and development.
However
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, the introduction of
cars
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 will force the displaced
people
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 to learn and adapt new skills which will
further
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 lead to some better job opportunities.
Although
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 robotics
technology
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 comes with some drawbacks,
people
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 have to adapt to the changes and learn to deal with the disruptions. I
therefore
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 believe that the widespread usage of driverless
cars
Use synonyms
 has significant advantages and is the right step in the positive development of society.
Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on

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Grammar
Ensure that sentences are well-structured and avoid minor grammatical errors. For example, 'People will become unemployed if replaced with such technologies' can be improved to 'People may become unemployed if these technologies are widely adopted.'
Detail
Develop the argument further with more specific examples and statistics. This will help to better illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Conciseness
Try to avoid repetition of ideas. For instance, the introductory sentence can be more concise to avoid redundancy.
Thesis
The essay makes a clear argument in favor of driverless cars and discusses the potential benefits and drawbacks.
Balance
Both sides of the argument are addressed, and a personal opinion is provided, which strengthens the response to the task.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. **Autonomous Vehicles** - A term referring to driverless or self-driving cars.
  • 2. **Human Error** - Mistakes made by people while driving, often leading to accidents.
  • 3. **Traffic Congestion** - Overcrowded roadways, often resulting in slower movement.
  • 4. **Mobility Solutions** - Transportation options for individuals who have difficulty moving around.
  • 5. **Emissions** - Pollutants released into the air by vehicles.
  • 6. **Technical Reliability** - The dependability of the technology to function as intended.
  • 7. **Job Displacement** - The loss of jobs due to new technology or automation.
  • 8. **Cyber-attacks** - Attempts by hackers to gain unauthorized access to computerized systems.
  • 9. **Liability** - Legal responsibility for something, often in the context of accidents or damages.
  • 10. **Ethical Considerations** - Moral issues that arise regarding the fairness and implications of decisions.
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