IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people feel that it will be better for society and individuals if driverless cars are widely used. Others are not in favour of the same. Discuss both the point of views and give your opinion.

#people #society #individuals #driverless #cars #favour #point
The robotics revolution is increasing at a faster pace. Some
people
 argue that the widespread use of autonomous
cars
 would benefit mankind
while
 others opine
this
 approach has some threats associated with it.
However
, I believe that the spur of robotic
technology
 in driving will have a positive impact on both individuals and society. Self-driving
cars
 would help to mitigate the number of accidents happening on the road. It is evident that most of the accidents take place
due to
 the reckless behaviour of the driver.
Technology
on the other hand
 would eliminate the margin of error that humans tend to miscalculate, like not paying attention to the pedestrians or upcoming traffic
while
 turning. So, by using
technology
 we can diminish the number of
people
 dying
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on roads
due to
 human error.
Thus
, it would pave the way to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better future
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On the other hand
, the introduction of the robot machinery will be far from being painless.
People
 will become unemployed if replaced with
such
 technologies. Most individuals rely on platforms
such
 as Uber Driver and Ola for their daily earnings. To take an example, many unemployed individuals in India use
such
 applications for their monthly income,in turn, is responsible for hindering their growth and development.
However
, the introduction of
cars
 will force the displaced
people
 to learn and adapt new skills which will
further
 lead to some better job opportunities.
Although
 robotics
technology
 comes with some drawbacks,
people
 have to adapt to the changes and learn to deal with the disruptions. I
therefore
 believe that the widespread usage of driverless
cars
 has significant advantages and is the right step in the positive development of society.
Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Ensure that sentences are well-structured and avoid minor grammatical errors. For example, 'People will become unemployed if replaced with such technologies' can be improved to 'People may become unemployed if these technologies are widely adopted.'
Detail
Develop the argument further with more specific examples and statistics. This will help to better illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Conciseness
Try to avoid repetition of ideas. For instance, the introductory sentence can be more concise to avoid redundancy.
Thesis
The essay makes a clear argument in favor of driverless cars and discusses the potential benefits and drawbacks.
Balance
Both sides of the argument are addressed, and a personal opinion is provided, which strengthens the response to the task.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: