IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Pollution and other environmental damages are caused by a country developing and becoming richer. This problem cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree?

#pollution #damages #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that it is impossible for developing
countries
Use synonyms
 to
further
Linking Words
 develop without damaging the environment. In their opinion, economic growth should be the first priority of the government. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. In my opinion, economic growth is important, but it cannot be at the expense of the environment. To commence with, when
nations
Use synonyms
 develop, they will require more resources.
For example
Linking Words
, developing
countries
Use synonyms
 like India and China need more fuel to power their growth. To explain, excessive consumption of fossil fuels, unfortunately, leads to the emission of carbon dioxide and accelerates the rate of global warming.
Countries
Use synonyms
 could better handle
this
Linking Words
 problem if they start developing sustainable sources of
energy
Use synonyms
. Another point to consider is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 all
countries
Use synonyms
 should invest in green and clean
energy
Use synonyms
 sources.
For example
Linking Words
, in
nations
Use synonyms
 lying on either side of the
equator
Add a comma
equator,
show examples
 there is considerable potential for harnessing solar
energy
Use synonyms
.
Countries
Use synonyms
 that produce excess
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of green
energy
Use synonyms
 can sell it to other
countries
Use synonyms
. Rich
nations
Use synonyms
 that are technologically and scientifically more advanced should share the newer and greener technologies with poor and developing
nations
Use synonyms
 for a better tomorrow.
Finally
Linking Words
, Environmental problems are not limited to any particular country and it is foolish to claim that only those
nations
Use synonyms
 that pollute should do something about it. Before long, the impact of pollution caused by rapidly developing
nations
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 be felt in the developed world.
To conclude
Linking Words
, since our survival depends on the environment, we cannot ignore environmental problems on the pretext that they are a byproduct of development. Of course, there is a need for development, but it is time we said no to developing
nations
Use synonyms
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
also
Linking Words
 be felt in the developed world.
Submitted by atifalvi143 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Enhance your essay by providing more diverse examples and deeper analysis for each point discussed. This will further clarify your arguments and lead to a stronger task response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and sentences more fluidly. This will allow the reader to follow your arguments more easily.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the argument effectively for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your stance on the issue.
relevant specific examples
Good use of examples to support your arguments, particularly in discussing the potential of solar energy and the global impact of pollution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: