There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
We usually relax by listening to traditional same feeling as me culture in some countries, festival
music
so I think that music
is a part
of our life. There are many types of music
in the world such
as :
pop Remove the comma
apply
music
, country music
…Today I want to discuss about
the Remove the preposition
apply
important
of traditional Replace the word
importance
music
and international music
. Let’s begin by looking at Add an article
the benefit
benefit
of listening Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
traditional
Change preposition
to traditional
music
. Traditional music
is something that all of us throughout
our lives. When I was a child, I used to listenAdd a missing verb
do throughout
Add the preposition
to
music
and I was very delighted. I also
believe that many children haveChange the article
the
especial
when they sing with others. Change the word
especially
Besides
, music
is a part
Change preposition
of
celebration
can not be held without traditional Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
music
. As children, we are taught songs by parents and teachers as a mean
of learning languages or simply as a form of enjoyment. In my view point, traditional Fix the agreement mistake
means
music
is both expressive and arouses
in a way that words alone cannot, it helps us return to our childhood easily. We can not live without traditional Wrong verb form
arousing
music
. Music
is changing day by day and international music
has become popular. International music
is often catchy and fun. We can listen to international music
as the
Correct article usage
a
ways
to learn new languages. Sometimes, traditional and international Fix the agreement mistake
way
music
is essentially a commercial product that is
marketed and sold by business people. In conclusion, music
is very
necessary Add an article
a very
part
of human existence because it connects us to the past and part
of our cultural identity. I Add a missing verb
is part
strong
believe that Change the word
strongly
Correct your spelling
traditional
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
music
should be given more importance than international music
Submitted by vibe
on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite