IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

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In recent years, some parents have adopted a permissive parenting style by giving their
children
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 everything they ask for or allowing them to do whatever they want.
While
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such
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 an approach may stem from love and a desire to ensure happiness, it is ultimately harmful to
children
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’s development and may lead to serious consequences later in life. Giving
children
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 everything they desire can undermine their ability to learn important life values
such
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 as patience, self-discipline, and respect for boundaries. When
children
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 grow up believing that all their demands will be met without effort, they may struggle to accept rules or restrictions in real-world situations, including school or social settings.
As a result
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, they may become impatient, entitled, or even aggressive when their desires are not fulfilled.
Furthermore
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, they are less likely to appreciate the value of what they have, since they did not need to earn it. The long-term consequences of
this
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 parenting style can be significant. In adulthood, these individuals may lack essential problem-solving and decision-making skills because they were not given opportunities to face challenges independently. They may expect success to come easily and become frustrated when faced with setbacks.
This
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 could result in poor performance at work and strained personal relationships.
Moreover
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, a lack of emotional regulation and resilience may hinder their ability to cope with stress or failure. In conclusion, giving
children
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 unlimited freedom and satisfying all their desires may appear loving in the short term but can lead to negative consequences in the long run. It is essential for parents to set reasonable boundaries and teach
children
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 that effort, discipline, and patience are necessary for personal growth and success in life.

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported with specific examples to strengthen your argument. While you mention the consequences well, incorporating real-life scenarios or studies could enhance your essay further.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more transitional phrases for better flow between ideas. This can make your essay more engaging.
structure
Your introductory and concluding paragraphs are well-written and effectively encapsulate your stance on the topic.
content
You clearly demonstrate the potential consequences of permissive parenting, which strengthens your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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