The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to teach the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

#amount #time #sport #exercise #schools #children

One of the biggest problems of the children in our primary schools is being overweight.

This

essay needs to heal us to understand the main problems and try to find several solutions. Spine disorders are one of the main problems.

This

problem is a result of playing video games whole day long. Obesity is another problem than could be seen

Suggestion

young children. Fast food restaurants around the schools cause

this

problem in my opinion. How can we find solutions for these problems? Both sides need to take their responsibility for

this

. We need to help our children. All schools, especially primary schools need to increase more sport classes, at least three times a week.

On the other hand

, parents have to be aware how much

health

Suggestion

healthy

healthier

lifestyle is important to their children. They should try to make healthy meals every day for their children and to teach them why they shouldn’t eat something around the school.

This

is one more solution how to keep our children fit and active.

School

Suggestion

The school

and parents can

also

ask

government

Suggestion

the government

for a help to solve those problems. Government can make

law

Suggestion

laws

a law

regarding about fast food restaurants. Junky food couldn’t be open less that 300 m around the school. In conclusion, leading sedentary lifestyle causes a lot of

health

problems, including obesity and spinal diseases especially in children.

However

, teach them on time how important our

health

is. The most effective solutions are to increase the level of sport classes and to speak all the time everywhere with young people about sports activities and

health

Submitted by bojanab001 on Tue Mar 31 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, face-to-face communication is replaced by online communication with using social media such as Facebook and Twitter. In my opinion, the prevalence of it in communication has many significant benefits.
5.5
band
Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
The debate disparity is a distinct dispute between low-wage positions and high-income occupations. Additionally, people have to look at the majority of views related to economies to determine if companies have the best financial situation.It is not essential to reduce salaries or employees.
4
band
In a number of countries, some people think that it is necessary to spend large sumes of money on coustructing new raily lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on imprioving exsistiong public transport…… view point Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is always a debatable topic whether it is esstional to spend money on building new rails or upgrading existing public transportation. I believe both sides have valid arguments.
8
band
It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
From a global perspective, it is surely challenging for any government to assist every individual worldwide directly because of the ever-extending scale of need and limited resources. However, relieving them of all international assistance potentially makes global crises much worse. Thus, I believe striking a balance between domestic priorities and international obligations might come in way more handy.
<4
band
In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In the contemporary world it is a common belief that the differece in age between parents and children.While there are a number of strong arguments for the advantages of difference age between parents and children on the contrary.I believe that there are lost of dis advantages.For these age difference parents are facing lot's of problems when they were old also parents are facing social issues.

The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to teach the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?