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Band 5

The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to teach the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

#amount #time #sport #exercise #schools #children
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One of the biggest problems of the children in our primary schools is being overweight.
This
Linking Words
 essay needs to heal us to understand the main problems and try to find several solutions. Spine disorders are one of the main problems.
This
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 problem is a result of playing video games whole day long. Obesity is another problem than could be seen
on
Suggestion
in
 young children. Fast food restaurants around the schools cause
this
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 problem in my opinion. How can we find solutions for these problems? Both sides need to take their responsibility for
this
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. We need to help our children. All schools, especially primary schools need to increase more sport classes, at least three times a week.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, parents have to be aware how much
Use synonyms
health
Suggestion
healthy
healthier
 lifestyle is important to their children. They should try to make healthy meals every day for their children and to teach them why they shouldn’t eat something around the school.
This
Linking Words
 is one more solution how to keep our children fit and active.
School
Suggestion
The school
 and parents can
also
Linking Words
 ask
government
Suggestion
the government
 for a help to solve those problems. Government can make
law
Suggestion
laws
a law
 regarding about fast food restaurants. Junky food couldn’t be open less that 300 m around the school. In conclusion, leading sedentary lifestyle causes a lot of
health
Use synonyms
 problems, including obesity and spinal diseases especially in children.
However
Linking Words
, teach them on time how important our
health
Use synonyms
 is. The most effective solutions are to increase the level of sport classes and to speak all the time everywhere with young people about sports activities and
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bojanab001 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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