IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this?

#countries #proportion #acts #teenagers
In
this
 day and age, our living environment is rife with social evils. Surprisingly, it is the youngsters to commit crime in a high proportion.
This
 essay will outline some reasons for
this
 trend and possible solutions to tackle the issue. One of the main causes for juvenile delinquency would be the lack of parental supervision. Dysfunctional, broken or single parent families tend to show indifferent attitude towards their children. That the teenagers are under no control or proper instruction for behavioгral training may result in moral deterioration, especially in their puberty or developing stages.
In particular
,
Accept space
,
 they are under no basic guidance to resist the temptation or identify social evils which should be avoided.
Therefore
, unlawful activities are caused by young offenders.
Next
, it is reported that lack of communication with social community could be a major factor causing offence in the juvenile. Morbid feelings named as anxiety, pessimism, distrust, loneliness vehemently lead to isolation, depression or other mental break-down problems.
Therefore
, they tend to break the law as a way of releasing stress and boosting their confidence. Fortunately, there are some viable solutions which can be applied to deal with the problem. It is of great importance for the government and pedagogical environment to run the propaganda campaign about juvenile delinquency and popular legislation. Moral training should be introduced to school curriculum to raise pupils’ awareness. Plus, local authorities should promulgate strict legislation for the teenagers to ensure the order and discipline. Turning to the family circle, every member is advised to pose the consciousness of well-behaving to set an example for the teenagers. In conclusion, the adults in general should be accountable for reducing the number of juvenile
deliquents
guilty of a misdeed
delinquents
 for radiant future.
Submitted by vinson90002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: