IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In the past few decades, the global
market
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 has been inundated with a staggering array of
products
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, leaving consumers grappling with the challenge of selecting the right one. In response,
brands
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 are increasingly turning to the strategy of enhancing their
products
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 with new features.
This
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 essay will delve into the advantages of
this
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 approach, exploring how it can benefit both consumers and
brands
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. The current
market
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has
Verb problem
is
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 saturated with various consumer
products
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 that rival companies compete to emphasize with different tactics. And the success of a brand or a service depends on the real problem that will be solved for the end user.
Therefore
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, the organization needs a salient feature for their newer
product
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 or a relaunch of an existing
product
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; in that case, corporations allocate a hefty amount of cash to the research and development department to upgrade their
product
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 portfolio.
For instance
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, the mobile phone sector
is currently inundate
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is currently inundated
show examples
 with numerous
brands
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 and models, and people are trying to get the most bang for their buck.
Therefore
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, it became a norm that phone
brands
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 come up with new upgrades and features every year to impress the
market
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. Marketers are trying to solve the consumer pain point or
market
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 gap without hoodwinking the consumers. If they do it one, the brand will not be sustained in the field long.
In other words
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, all the competitors must get a significant
market
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 share under their name.
However
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,
this
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 has created a competitive field in each
product
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 category, from foods to electronics, that paves the way to good quality end
products
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 for the user. All things considered, nowadays, ad campaigns revolve around
product
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 novelty.
This
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 essay discussed why marketers want to showcase their
product
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 with new improvements and how it’s helped the consumer.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the reasons for emphasizing new features in advertising and whether this is a positive or negative development. However, to achieve higher scores, focus on elaborating more on your main points and provide more specific examples that clearly tie back to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, you could improve cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to show the relationship between your ideas. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'As a result,' to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and set the context for the essay. To enhance your essay, make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize the key arguments made in the essay.
task achievement
Providing more specific, concrete examples will strengthen your essay. For instance, mention particular brands or products that have succeeded or failed due to their emphasis on new features. This will make your essay more persuasive and grounded in real-world scenarios.
task achievement
Your essay topic is well understood, and you provide a clear response to both parts of the task. This is crucial for achieving a good score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow your argument. Both the introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall cohesion of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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