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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With the increased use of computers, the internet, and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development for employers and employees?

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It is a fact that the workplace plays an important role in our lives. Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
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 are concerned about working from
home
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. The following essay will discuss
both
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 the benefits and drawbacks of the development of homeworking. On the one hand, there are some reasons why
people
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 say that remote working has several advantages. The first merit is that working from
home
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 helps business owners to reduce the company’s financial expenses. To be more specific, by allowing
employees
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 to
work
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 at
home
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, employers can save more expenses on renting offices, electricity, or water bills, and so on. The second benefit is that working from
home
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 is more convenient and comfortable for
workers
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.
This
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 is because
workers
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 can
work
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 anywhere and anytime,
thus
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, they are not afraid of being late for
work
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.
Moreover
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, they can
also
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 save money on living expenses.
For example
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, when they
work
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 from
home
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, they are not having to pay for fuel, commuting, or parking fees.
Therefore
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, remote working has positive effects on
both
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employees
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 and employers.
On the other hand
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, despite the aforementioned benefits, there are some drawbacks of working at
home
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 that should be taken into consideration. The first demerit of remote working is that it influences the effectiveness of the enterprises’ human resource management.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that business owners can not monitor
employees
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’ performance and working efficiency.
For instance
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, managers are unable to ensure that their
workers
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 complete their tasks on time. The second drawback of
this
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 issue is that the effective working of
employees
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 may be decreased.
This
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 is because they will get distracted from their surroundings, and it will lead to inefficient
work
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.
In addition
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,
employees
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 are
also
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 isolated and lack face-to-face conversations by remote working.
Hence
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, working from
home
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 has negative effects on
both
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workers
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 and business owners.
To sum up
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, remote working has
both
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 pros and cons.
However
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, as far as I am concerned,
people
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 should choose the most effective and suitable way for themselves. Only by doing so can we ensure that
people
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 will have better, healthier, and more prosperous lives.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed conclusion that summarizes key points and reinforces your stance more strongly.
coherence and cohesion
While the main ideas are clear, ensure your transitions and connections between points are explicit to enhance overall flow.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points further.
coherence and cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly indicating the topic and scope of the essay.
task achievement
Good understanding of the topic with relevant points outlining both advantages and disadvantages of remote working.
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