IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that governments should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #governments #services #money #arts #music #paintings
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It cannot be denied that one of the most important functions of the government is the utilization management, and the best use of its resources.
However
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, some people may argue that the officials have to support the public facilities over musical and drawing activities, I would stand for the belief that Art is as much important. There is no doubt that musical works and drawing are essential in the current time.
Although
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 music has been around for centuries, it has gone through many different stages with different styles.
As a result
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, it has played a significant role in building the character of humanity over the different years.
For instance
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, a recent study in the college of Arts in Cairo, Egypt has shown that the old ancient Pharos played different types of singing during their wars to burst the morals of the soldiers.
Additionally
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, in the modern time, people rely a lot on melody in order to relax, and to empower their sense of creativity. For these convincing reasons, I see that the government should spend some money on the arts.
On the other hand
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, because the life is so tough and due to the lack of resources, others may believe that the community and social services are more important. They may believe that providing the financial support to the hospitals and the healthcare facilities can enhance the services by building more hospitals by which the capacity of services will be increased. They have an important point of view which should be taken into consideration while the authorities are making the monetary plans. In conclusion, Despite the fact that a sector of the society may see that the services which affect the people’s daily life is essential, I see that Arts and music are extremely pivotal in enhancing the society creativity and to relief it tension.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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