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Band 5.5

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015
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The table compares information on the figure of
students
Use synonyms
 from 2 schools who had various difficulties in 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, what is observed from the graph is that
students
Use synonyms
' biggest complication is following
Add an article
the instruction
show examples
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 sum is dramatically lower in jail
B
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Another interesting thing is that in both years institute
B
Use synonyms
 witnessed markedly fewer
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who face problems than
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
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 for. Turning into the details of 2005 , 22
students
Use synonyms
 didn't have enough skills in reading whilst
this
Linking Words
 was
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 total in institution A.
While
Linking Words
 only 5
students
Use synonyms
 from academy
B
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 not capable
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spelling, university A had 6 times as
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who had spelling problems as institute
B
Use synonyms
.The noticeable difference was seen between schools in the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who didn't follow instructions (42 for
school
Use synonyms
 A and 6 for
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
) With regard to the date
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015 , 18 children from
school
Use synonyms
 A could not concentrate
lessons
Change preposition
on lessons
show examples
 and follow instructions which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not
as
Add an article
an as
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 important
issue
Correct article usage
an issue
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 as others. Surprisingly, in
hall
Add a comma
,hall
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 A most
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 had a handwriting
problemcomplication
Correct your spelling
problem complication
 (28),
while
Linking Words
 only 7
students
Use synonyms
 need to solve
this
Linking Words
 dilemma in faculty
B
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the biggest challenge for hall
students
Use synonyms
 was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 verbal expression of ideas and concentration in lessons (15)

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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