IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015
#information #children #two #schools
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table compares information on the figure of
students
 from 2 schools who had various difficulties in 2005 and 2015.
Overall
, what is observed from the graph is that
students
' biggest complication is following
Add an article
the instruction
show examples
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
show examples
 in
school
 A
while
this
 sum is dramatically lower in jail
B
 in 2005. Another interesting thing is that in both years institute
B
 witnessed markedly fewer
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 of
students
 who face problems than
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
 for. Turning into the details of 2005 , 22
students
 didn't have enough skills in reading whilst
this
 was
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 total in institution A.
While
 only 5
students
 from academy
B
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not capable
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spelling, university A had 6 times as
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
students
 who had spelling problems as institute
B
.The noticeable difference was seen between schools in the number of
students
 who didn't follow instructions (42 for
school
 A and 6 for
school
B
) With regard to the date
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2015 , 18 children from
school
 A could not concentrate
lessons
Change preposition
on lessons
show examples
 and follow instructions which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not
as
Add an article
an as
show examples
 important
issue
Correct article usage
an issue
show examples
 as others. Surprisingly, in
hall
Add a comma
,hall
show examples
 A most
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 had a handwriting
problemcomplication
Correct your spelling
problem complication
 (28),
while
 only 7
students
 need to solve
this
 dilemma in faculty
B
.
However
, the biggest challenge for hall
students
 was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 verbal expression of ideas and concentration in lessons (15)
Submitted by vsarmasli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, b with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: