IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
#carbon #dioxide #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden
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The given graph illustrates
carbon
Correct article usage
the carbon
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 dioxide
emissions
Use synonyms
one
Change preposition
by one
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 person in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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four
difference
Replace the word
different
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 European countries from 1967 to 2007. In general, we can see that carbon dioxide
emissions
Use synonyms
 were noticed the most in Great Britain in 1967.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, CO2
emissions
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 were polluted the least in Portugal in 1967.
Start
Wrong verb form
Starting
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 with the UK, we can view that
although
Linking Words
 in 1967 Carbon dioxide
emissions
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 were 11 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
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these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 huge number was decreased by
attempt
Add an article
the attempt
an attempt
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 of
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 till 2007. (under 10 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
).
In addition
Linking Words
 , we can
also
Linking Words
 observe that CO2
emissions
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rose to
peak
Add an article
a peak
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 point in Sweden in 1987
however
Linking Words
 pollution was reduced until 2007 from over 10 metric
tonnes
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 to under 6 metric
tonnes
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. Moving on to the CO2
emissions
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 results of Italy , we can witness that Italian governments cannot prevent increasing these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
toxics
Correct your spelling
toxins
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 so they went up slowly from 4 metric
tonnes
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 to 7 metric
tonnes
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 between 1967 and 2007.
Next
Linking Words
 , when it comes to Portugal , it is
also
Linking Words
 worth noting that CO2
emissions
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also
Linking Words
 grew rapidly
since
Change preposition
from
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 1 metric
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tonnes
Change to a singular noun
tonne
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till
Change preposition
to
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 5 metric
tonnes
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 from 1987 to 2007.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words emissions, co, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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